Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Oral gone OMG! x_x

 Despite what you read, or see in porn. Sex isn't always as clean, or smooth as we would like it to be. I am sure all of us have had those, EEE,AHHH, OMG moments during sex. Here is one from this pup...that my Daddy/Dom found very, laugh out loud amusing.. me? Well, not so much. Not at the time, anyway!

After some very intense and amazing play I had been granted permission to finish him orally, which I absolutely love doing. There is a combination of things I do that make him crazy and give him some of his more intense orgasms.

So here I am, shaking and trembling from the already mind blowing orgasms that have been given.. and he orders me to not take my mouth off of him as I work him up with my hands and mouth (with yummy bubble gum lube!) His hands still caressing and working over my very sensitive areas, ordering me to cum and cum... that I am so excited and turned on, and sucking good and hard.

Now, a little thing I do when he is having his orgasm, is add more suction right as he starts to ejaculate. He says this makes the orgasm way more powerful and intense for him. I've always been able to do this well... but this time, I don't know if I was because I kept having orgasms during, or just got a little to... suction like excited.. but I actually sucked so hard that his sperm, instead of it all just rushing down my throat some of it, came.. out.. of.. my.... nose!

I realized what was happening as I saw a drop land back on him and felt like my nose was suddenly running! I tried to keep my shock and utter.. omg moment to myself long enough to make sure his bed grabbing, growl grunting intense moment was easing down.. but then sat up... and he caught on to what just happened. This ended in him laughing his butt off, and me sputtering and running to blow my nose and get a drink, while trying not to crack up myself.

I guess I see the logic of how it happened, but .. seriously?! lol!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

5 Lessons Learned:

*Another old, but favorite post.. I really need to make an updated list!*

When over Daddy's knee getting punished, do not casually try to stick lucky charms in Daddy's uniform pockets. (Daddy and I had been snacking on dry lucky charms before hand) Daddy will notice, and Daddy will give you extra swats for this!

Hiding Daddy's belt or other tools only leads to even more trouble.

Don't get ideas from threads on fetlife that other slaves/baby girls/subs have tried to get away with... furthermore, don't laugh your butt off while reading said threads when Daddy is near by. This results in knowing the next time you get a long session of spanking, a picture of the end results will be taken and posted on fetlife, and you are told you will post a note in your profile stating that every time you get into trouble, said photo will become your profile picture. :P (This has yet to happen, but shhh, don't tell!)

Do not try to hold Daddy's hands behind his head or top him in any way... Daddy is strong and can lift you upside down without much effort! :o

You never know what Daddy is really thinking during punishment. Example, Daddy says pick one.. the hairbrush or belt. You fear the back of the hairbrush, for you've heard so many say how bad it stings. You pick the belt. The belt gets put away... Daddy says, I didn't say what you were picking for baby girl! (I'm sitting on a pillow today!)

In living in the DaddyDom/baby girl lifestyle 24/7 I find myself being torn with being that sweet baby girl that will do anything to please Daddy. Or being a little, bratty to push the boundaries and see what I can get away with. I never go into being disrespectful areas, or things that I know will seriously make Daddy angry, but those little things that to him,make me cute and sassy - well, those are another thing...um, right? I know Daddy doesn't want a doormat. But I also know Daddy doesn't want disrespect or serious rule breaking. I think so far I've kept a pretty good balance, but I tend to wonder - how many subs out there get that urge to be a little imp and see what you can get away with?

I know there are some that just purely like being bratty. I know many define bratty in different ways also. Being a brat I hear is being disrespectful or not knowing when is too much or when to stop. Being bratty on the other hand I've heard is more like the things I've been testing the waters with. I would never actually try to top Daddy. He is the dominant, he always has been. I respect,love and need that...

But, this baby girl has a lot of ornery streaks in her, for sure!

Shower Punishment.

As I enter the room, i hear the spray of the shower. Images of You standing under the cascading waters create stirrings in my groin. Smiling to myself, i shake my head and begin to change into my pajamas. Yet, the more i try to ignore the sounds — and the accompanying thoughts — the more pervasive they become.

Without warning i find myself debating in my mind — my body wants to follow the sounds; my mind is staying stay, for i know i am supposed to do as Daddy says. And Daddy’s orders are to change into my nightgown and be prepared and ready for inspection.

Standing outside the bathroom door; i don’t even recall crossing the room… my hand reaches for the knob. Now there is a full-blown war between subconscious desires and conscious caution. Part of me wants so very much to enter — part of me is warning me to stay out. What if You become angry at the invasion? What if You become angry at my disobedient action? But … even as i ponder these questions i find the door slowly swinging open… my feet betray me and i slip into the bathroom.
The clouds of steam give it an surreal feeling.

The moist heat surrounds me…i gaze at your outline through the opaque glass of the shower doors. Desire floods my body. The trembling in my body is a combination of fear and yearning. Fear that you will be so very angry with me — yearning for You and the rapture that You can bring forth in me.
You are still unaware of my presence….i can still flee. But, while i decide to back out of the room while i still can, i instead find myself sliding the shower door open… my legs feel like jello being rippled in a bowl — i can no longer hide…i see the look of surprise on your face. Searching Your eyes for any hint of displeasure, i stand just outside the shower.

The water now spraying me, dampening my gown. Madly i try to think of a logical explanation for my presence!

You see my feet shuffle, as i look up at You with my big green eyes. You look amused, but still have that ‘Daddy look’ as Your eyes narrow down at me. “Is something wrong, baby girl?” You ask, with almost a sly tone. Biting at my lip, i can only shake my head and lower my eyes. Your strong hand reaches out and lifts my chin… i know this means You want me to make eye contact with You. Looking up again, i fumble to find the words that are dashing through my head, but can only manage a small stutter. “Speak up, and clearly now, princess… like you’ve been taught.” You say sternly.

“Yes Daddy, i.. i just wanted to, well – see You is all.”
You know there is more to it, for You know Your baby girl better than anyone.
“Is baby girl disobeying by not preparing for Daddy as she was instructed to do?” You ask, with that matter of fact tone You have mastered so well. Feeling the butterflies in my tummy start to flap around like crazy, i try to think of a way to justify why i am standing before you, now with a damp gown.. and quivering legs. Failing this attempt, i can only muster out a…”Yes Daddy…” as i lower my head again.

Your arms reach out and smoothly pull me into the shower…i feel Your hands sliding my gown off my shoulders. It slithers down my body, dropping in a pile at my feet. You reach out for me. Your hand takes mine. Your hand, so strong neither draws me in nor pushes me away. The water begins to cover me. As You draw me even closer to You, i feel the surges of emotion sweep through my body. Every nerve is now alive and signaling. You lower Your head — Your mouth covering mine. The kiss is gentle yet provocative. As You slide Your arms around my shoulders to draw me even closer, my mind finds sanctuary. Your tongue now probing my lips and my own tongue slides out to entwine and dance with yours. Waves of desire flood my being.

My small breasts press against Your wet chest, the water lubricating our bodies so that we glide together. The swelling of Your staff presses between my legs. Pulling Your head back enough to meet my eyes again, You remind me that i have still disobeyed You. And while You do not ever get angry with me for wanting to see or be with You.. when i am told to do something, it is to be done. You tell me that while it is ok that i need You, a baby girl must learn patience and do as she is told, when she is told.

Knowing You are right, as Daddy always is… i softly tell You i am sorry for misbehaving. You reach out and wipe away the first fallen tear from my eyes, and kiss my nose before turning my body around and instruct me to get into position. Realizing that You are about to punish me here and now, i instantly squirm, knowing that the water is going to make it sting that much more. But, not wanting to further disobey, i lean my body forward and brace myself against the shower wall. The water splashes down on my bottom and i feel Your hand gently caressing the soon to be very red flesh.

You take your time, and the anticipation of what is to come rushes through me. You’ve never actually spanked me fully in the shower, beyond a slap here or there for fun or reminder when i tend to get carried away when washing Daddy. Feeling my legs tremble, i start to squirm again… causing You to grab a hold of my hips, and tell me sternly to stay still.. or it will be much more severe. With the words “Yes Daddy..” getting caught in my throat, i feel the first sting of Your hand hit the right cheek. Before i can even mutter out a ‘one..’ i feel it again on the left side. You’ve gone straight to business… right to left… right to left… each starting to sting more than the last. Tears start to fill my eyes, but i am also suddenly having a war in my mind about the water… for it is making each smack sting that much more.. but also, i have hopes that it will somewhat conceal how wet i am becoming between my legs.

Feeling Daddy pause, i stay in position.. knowing better than to move until Daddy says so. I then feel Daddy lathering soap over the already stinging spots… at first it feels soothing, but Oh! how the stings kick in. Trying with all my might not to start squirming again, i feel my knees bend forward… You take one strong arm and hold me at the hips, as the other instantly goes back to the punishment of spanking Your little girl’s ass.

Emotions sweep through me as the quivering within becomes a sensation of infinite pleasure.Your hands skillfully deliver each swat and with each one, i feel more and more release. How i thrive on Your authority.. the feel of Your hands How secure i feel as You draw me even closer to You after delivering the final swats. Feeling Your shaft press against me, my hips begin a gentle rotation … pressing against Yours…i feel Your Stiffness sliding along my mound … i press against it more. Your hands run down my back … fingers gently rubbing my spine — searching for each area; massaging; rubbing. You again take the soap and begin to thoroughly lather my body. Working in small circles, You watch the white bubbles cover my skin as Your hands slide across my breasts, You hear a moan emanate from deep within me. Your fingers toy with my distended nipples.

Time loses all meaning as we move together under the warm mist of the shower spray. Each passing second increasing the desires until it would seem that our bodies must explode…i take the soap and work up even more lather…i ask You for permission to lather up Your now very erect cock.
The soap falls from my hands as i tilt my head back to kiss you…my tongue probing your mouth. Finally drawing away, i bend forward to pick up the soap … a smile toying with my lips. i enjoy the pretense of ‘just picking up the soap’ as though i am not aware that Your staff is now pressed against the tight opening. Using my body to signal You that i want You to penetrate me — to press into that tight, quivering hole. Knowing that You will move slowly inwards until the muscles relent to the pressure of Your staff and accept the pleasures of stimulation being offered…i derive immense pleasure from the twinge of discomfort at first being entered there. The muscles relent at Your steady pressure and You slide in … so very, very slowly. Your hands reaching under to caress my breasts, massaging them…my nipples pressed between Your fingers send shocks through my body as i press backwards against You, wanting You fully within me.

You order me to reach down to caress myself … igniting flames of sensations that flood my being as You begin to pump. Now, the muscles are responding to the pleasant stimulation and also sending currents of ecstasy through my body. Mewing cries of pleasure escape my lips … You allow the passions to erupt and thrust in harder and faster — plunging into me i feel the warmth as Your fluids flood me. Your moans of release filling my ears and my approaching orgasm starts to climbs to unknown peaks. Breathlessly, i ask for permission to come for Daddy… “Please Daddy, please can i come…” i beg… feeling Your arms tighten around me, You tell me i will do no such thing at this moment… but i will wash up, and go finish preparing as You originally instructed.. and we will see about release if you behave this time….

The Storm.

She felt the storm flow through her body, energizing her with its power. She had always been like this, restless, feeling the blood rushing madly through her veins, the warm rain pelting down on her face. He could feel the tension in her too. She practically radiated it. She stood there, eyes closed feeling everything. It set her nerves on edge.

He went to her, and placed His hands on her shoulders. She didn’t move a muscle. Slowly, He slid His hands down her arms, moving to her waist and pulling her to His body. She trembled slightly, her hands curling into fists in an attempt to subdue the turmoil within her. Still her eyes remained closed.
He could feel the electricity in the air. It made Him a little crazy too. He bent down to her ear. Very deliberately, He blew softly into it. She gave a sharp cry and came alive, twisting around to press herself into His body.

He took her weight easily as He ran one hand through her wet hair.
Her hands clutched at His back, as her lips claimed His. This was no warm, loving kiss. Her tongue thrust into His mouth, boldly demanding a response. He gave it. His hand molded her body against His as He let loose all the wildness He restrained with everyone but her.

Lightning flashed above them lighting up the clearing for a split second. She jerked against Him, hands clenching behind His back. Then suddenly she shoved Him away and ran. He stood frozen in shock… what was His little one up to now? Then He was after her.

They ran deeper into the woods. The rain was coming down so hard that He could barely make her out in front of Him. She was running so fast that He was scared that she would slip on the muddy ground and slide down one of the steep inclines. Amazingly she stayed on her feet, still racing with the wind. Her exultant laughter floated back on the wind to Him.

Suddenly she slid to a stop, doubling over to catch her breath, laughing breathlessly still. He pulled her upright and propped her against a tree. Her clothes were soaked, her hair plastered against her brow but she was more alive now than He had ever seen her. Her eyes were aglow as she threw back her head, stretched her arms out and yelled.

Her eyes came back to His face. He saw the power in her eyes, and suddenly He had the wild notion that the storm’s energy was in her, being channeled somehow through her to the outside. Her gaze intensified. Her lips parted, her tongue slipped out to slide delicately over her lower lip.
“Do you want me, Daddy?” Her voice was lower and huskier than normal.
“How could I not…” He answered, His eyes drinking in the sight of her moving slowly against the tree. She held out a hand to Him.
“Then take me, Daddy…”

He pressed her down onto the wet grass. She let her body fall with His, melt into the ground. Then swiftly, she twisted out from under His body, threw a leg over Him and propped herself over Him, her face alight with triumph. She caught His wrists and dragged them over His head, holding them down to the ground. She knew He wasn’t using His strength, for she could never top her Daddy, and she knew she would probably pay dearly for her bravery… but something inside her had taken over. Slowly, she stretched out over Him, her breasts poised over Him, erect nipples clearly outlined through the wet fabric.

“Baby girl….”
“You like, Daddy?” she purred.
“Like? Here’s how much I like…”
He threw her off, pinned her down easily, shifting to let her feel His obvious arousal against her thigh.

“Tell me. How much do you want Daddy inside of you?”
She groaned in response, thrusting up her hips against Him. He laughed softly then bent down to suck her earlobe into His mouth. She tried to squirm away from Him.
“Do you want to feel my tongue against your little clit? Do you want to feel my fingers slide deep into you, press against your walls?” came a low, deliciously husky voice in her ear.
“Yes!” she gasped, as the vibration of His voice sent tiny muscle spasms running down her side. A wet tongue slid around the shell of her ear. She shrieked. Dammit, He knew perfectly well that her right ear was one of her most sensitive spots! Then the lightning flashed again and she was arching against Him, suddenly filled with the need for passion and power.
“Yes, what…?” He demanded.
“Yes, Daddy…! Please, i need you now…” she groaned. He cocked His head in mock surprise.
“Now where’s that little one who spends our nights endlessly trying to tease Daddy? Can’t baby girl stand it when the shoe’s on the other foot?” He bent down swiftly to sweep His tongue over the sensitive side of her neck. She groaned as her body continued to move restlessly under Him.

“Too bad.” He continued silkily. “Daddy is going to take His time and see that baby girl goes crazy with pleasure.”
Swiftly He came to His feet and reached down to pull her up. Backing away slightly, His intense eyes holding hers, He began to strip. Her heart leapt into her throat and stayed there as He finally stood there in front of her. A wave of faintness swept over her as her eyes traveled over His body.

“Undress yourself… now, baby girl.” He ordered His eyes still on hers.
Sobered a little by the depth of her emotions, she lifted her hands to her buttons and began to shed her clothes, unconsciously using the grace inherent in her. Soon she too was bare; her skin prickling in the wind that rustled the leaves around them. He made the first step, backing her into a tree.
The feel of His firm body pressed against hers, the hardness of His penis trapped against the soft flesh of her tummy. The knot of tension within her tightened as her breathing shallowed.

He bent His head ever so slowly to nuzzle at her neck. A wet tongue stroked up to her ear and then down again, tantalizing every single nerve ending on the way. Her nails dug into His forearms as muscles in her buttocks contracted with exquisite slowness.

Thunder crashed above them and a fresh fall of rain made its way through the leaf cover onto them. The heat of His body burned through the chill as His hands moved over her body, touching, stroking, and spreading the water over her breasts. Suddenly, she came to life again, wrapping her arms around His neck and pulling His head down for an intense, satisfying kiss. One bare leg lifted and hooked over His hip as she pulled Him into her body.

He could feel the heat of her groin pressing against His hip, more than just tempting Him to plunge into its warm depths. But He was enjoying Himself way too much to end it so soon. Instead, He slipped one hand down her side, followed the smooth curve of her bottom and stroked along her raised thigh. He broke away from their kiss, and smoothly turned her and placed her hands against the tree. In one quick motion He pulled a twig down off the branch above and stroked it along her bottom. Feeling her breath deepen as she heard the twig break then stroke her wet flesh. She had known better than to try and take some control, she didn’t even want it. Then she felt the first sting and she gave a sharp gasp. Sensations flooded her as she felt Him take back the control, the power she always needed Him to have. What was she thinking, running from Him… teasing Him… she knew better? But now, He was making it right, correcting His little girl… and oh how she longed for it.

She gave another sharp gasp as the twig met her bottom again and again, pressing her palms against the tree.
His cool fingers parted her outer lips and suddenly drove into her. He could fell her inner muscles contracting around His fingers and He crooked them forwards and found her G-spot. Slowly He started to stroke the sensitive tissue, softly at first and then with more pressure.
She buried her face into her arms, stifling her moans and cries. Her nails dug into the hard bark of the tree as she held on for dear life. Carefully, He added His thumb to the concerto, finding her throbbing clitoris and started on the exact same rhythm He was using inside her.

“Daddy, Please…”
“Relax. Don’t fight It.” He murmured into her ear, as He started up again.
“Oh God… please… Daddy… “
He sped up the tempo. Harsh cries started to escape her, her body tensing up against Him. She had never felt such violent pleasure in her life. She needed to scream, to tear into Him, anything to keep her from going insane.

He managed to keep her upright as her legs gave way, concentrating on keeping the pressure of His fingers intense all the while. His own body was on fire, as He felt her muscles start to contract involuntarily. Her scream came with the thunder, and then again and again as her orgasms tore into her with a force she had never imagined.
He held her then, feeling the aftershocks run through her exhausted body long after she came. His own body was throbbing unmercifully after watching her explosive climaxes, every fiber straining to thrust into her with all the power He had.
He looked at His baby girl, and could see the impish glint return to her eyes as she turned to face Him. A very familiar smile spread over her lips… Now, where was i, Daddy?

Sister Fantasy.

Daddy has this very skilled way of talking to me during sex or playtime. His voice is always confident and strong. Never missing a word or stumbling with what to say next. He always knows what to say that will make me pant,squirm and beg for more. But, me on the other hand.. while i know i am very skillful in a lot of things in bed, this is not my strongest area, i become so aroused that i am moaning, squirming and trying to form a coherent sentence in my head. It doesn’t always work! Instead… Yes Daddy, Oh pleassse Daddy, Mm, fuck me Daddy, i’ll be a good girl Daddy.. a lot of moaning and so on comes out. This is something that i think Daddy wants me to work on, but that is actually not going to be the point of this post.

Recently, Daddy asked me if there has been any new fantasies i have had lately, and to share them with Him. The first fantasy that rushed into my head, was one that has been frequent to me, especially during assigned playtime. (Times when Daddy tells me to play, with fingers/toy or whatever for a certain amount of time, but not cum unless I have permission.) Telling Daddy of this fantasy lead to Daddy talking dirty like to me, involving different scenarios of it, and asking me if baby girl would like this, or that and so on. Just hearing Daddy sternly talk to me in any way gets my juices flowing, but adding this fantasy in, oh wow. Talk about turning into a quivering wet baby girl!
So i got to thinking, where better to share this fantasy, but here? In my head, the fantasy goes something like this:

Daddy has let me have a play date. Or perhaps a sister. Daddy is off at work, and us girls are left home to do our chores and behave ’till Daddy returns home. Trying to be good girls for Daddy, we do some chores. But, naturally our impish sides come out, and we keep teasing each other. Laughing, tickling, pillow fights.. just doing what girls do. Perhaps we’d sneak into the ice cream. And perhaps some ice cream would drip down onto her neck and i would not be able to resist leaning forward to lick it off. Or maybe boredom would kick in, and we’d sneak into my paints. Before long, the paint would be more on us, than the canvas or paper. Of course this would mean we’d start to paint and decorate each other. Adding some glitter, some sparkle.. ooo pretty colors. Painting her pretty breasts in a nice purple or pink. Hands getting very curious and paint going everywhere! We’d lose track of time, the ice cream would be setting on the counter melting. paint all over us, and we’d hear the door. Daddy’s voice will call into us, and we’d scurry around, busted and dirty, and…. very wet. Daddy finds us, and we instantly see that Daddy look cross over his face, and we’d know right off how much trouble we are in. He’d investigate to see just how much trouble we’ve made while He was working, and we’d be sent to our baths to get cleaned up before punishment. Daddy would not let us play with the toy duck, or bubbles, but to get straight in and wash, and be waiting for Him in the correct position for when He is ready to deal with His two little imps.

Nervously we wash each other, sneaking a kiss here, and a grope there. But quickly, for we know how much trouble we are in! Drying each other off like good girls, and picking some nice clean undies, we hurry into the bedroom and get into position. Waiting, and waiting the nerves start to grow more. Once in awhile we exchange a glance and try to stay very quiet as we know Daddy is out looking at the messes we’ve made. When Daddy does arrive to punish us, our eyes get wide as Daddy slides off His work belt. The noise of the quick slick motion causes us to shiver. Daddy lectures us for disobeying His rules, and sternly asks us who started the mess. Who left the ice cream out, and were we allowed to sneak into the goodies?

The lecture continues, and we sniffle a little. Biting my lip, i wonder who will be first in punishment. Not much time is granted for me to wonder my thought though, for Daddy stands in front of me. Looking up, i whisper.. “baby girl is so sorry Daddy… we.. we….” Hush, is all Daddy says in response before motioning me to lean over the bed. Not wanting to make Daddy more angry i rush onto the bed… my eyes close tightly as Daddy slides down the clean panties me and sissy had picked for each other after bath. Then, i feel Him place her next to me. Both of our rears exposed and upright on the bed. my heart skips a beat as i hear Daddy begin to lecture us on being good little girls, and how disappointed Daddy is that we decided to break His rules. Swallowing hard, there is not even time to try to whimper another apology before i feel the sting of Daddy’s belt hit my backside. One, after another… but terrible of me, i forget to count. Daddy stops and reminds me that i am not receiving punishment as I was taught. i stumble to get it right, and count as Daddy’s belt lands on my sensitive skin each time. Stopping Daddy turns to her and does the same. Back and forth Daddy’s belt punishes us as we squirm and our little asses become bright red.

After, Daddy informs us to stand in the corner… hands above our head, and we are not to move ’till Daddy says so. Our cheeks red, upper and lower, we sniffle in the corner. More time passes and Daddy comes back in to give us kisses and hugs, and tells us we are still good girls, just a bit feisty and impish. Daddy makes everything better, and says He still loves us. Scooping us to each of His sides, He then tells us… Now, show Daddy what you two started to do today, and this time, lets do it properly, and Daddy might just let your little kitties cum…..

The new girl on the 'shock'.

*repost from Fetlife and old blog*

Here at the Sanctuary in Denver, there are a couple of ladies who are kind enough to set up an area where you can try a demo with the Violet wand at times. A couple weeks ago, I got to experience this.. and a few people have asked me to share this 'electrifying' experience.

So at first, I admit... I sat there watching the lovely two ladies that went before me.. and my nerves were just everywhere! And of course, I know this is silly, but I have hardware in my entire back, so my thoughts turned to, ack - what if it like shocks all of that?!?! I think I suddenly started looking like a frightened puppy, and held on to my Uncle Kambriel and Daddy ... thinking, ummm.. am I sure about this?!

They both of course, being two of the very few people I know who can instantly calm my nerves, gave me reassurance. And, the lovely lady (I do not know if she'd like to be named, so I will just refer to her as the lovely lady in the corset ;)), was also very kind and reassuring. She let me touch her arm, to get a starting feel to it.. and from that point I was, all.. Oo, gimmie, please?! lol.
To get past what was rest of my nerves, I respectfully asked my Daddy if he could please warm me up with a start of spanking session. This helped, a ton.. for I got to start floating into mind space before the wand play even started. Daddy and Uncle Kambriel gave me some very yummy swats, and I was soon tingly and getting a little floaty.

I should mention here, that when Daddy and Uncle work together doing whatever it is they are doing with me, they just like - connect on a way cool level. There is an awesome connection between the three of us, that make whatever scene/session or such have a wonderfully nice, and intense in a good way feeling to it.

So, anyway!

Before I knew it, the lovely lady in the corset had moved over, and it was my turn! She had her hand on my leg, and all I could think at first is - behave, behave, behave and keep that leg still.. for, if you have ever done or seen a scene with me, you'll know that I have a bad habit of moving my legs a lot. (I'm working on that!) lol.

Daddy started by doing some caresses, and the bits of sparks were just flying through me.. once in awhile I'd jump, being some areas were more intense than others.

It quickly, got so intense, that Uncle was holding my chest down, and at some point, I remember him holding my neck up, for I guess I was all over the place, and about to go flying off of the table! x_x

 I didn't care for the feeling on my lip piercing.. I do remember that, but as Daddy explored different parts of my body with it - I was quickly gone into a very delicious subspace, and squirming.
I also remember Uncle saying - "Did we put a towel underneath her? .. then... "Should we?" And me, managing to say, or much like moan "Yesssssss!" lol.

I also remember yelling out - "Holy Shrek".. as things got more intense... which had the lovely lady in the corset laughing and saying that was a new one.. and I sort of remember Daddy explaining that I am not allowed to swear, so I tend to get creative with my wording. x_x

Somewhere during the session - I remember Daddy ordering me to cum - (He has been training me in this area for about two years now) .. I had no objections! And I do believe this is where things got to that, ah crap, maybe we should have tied her down?? For I really was all over the place! From there, I think I got ordered to do this a few times , and I do remember asking permission to cum at a couple points also.

During one very yummy moment, Uncle, knowing just how sensitive my nipples are, had grabbed both of my breasts, which had sent me even higher into a very wicked all over body type orgasm.

Now, a good friend asked me - what did it feel like?

I've been trying to find words to describe it here for her.. for she is very anxious to try a session like this.

At a low level, it feels like a prickly gentle tickle.. and I do not honestly know how high of a level she ended up with on this - but when going over my choke collar and such, there is way much more of a zap to it. It doesn't hurt hurt, but there is that mix of yummy fear that you know it can very likely hurt if cranked up.

The sensations seem to run deep into your body.. when the stimulation was in areas like my thighs, breasts and so on.. it was a very deep sensation.. and actually a very pleasurable one. I think most people associate electricity with, yikes, this is going to hurt! So, that adds to that excitement and fear of it all. If, you're like me, and get off on that sort of thing.

I'd still be a bit nervous to go .. head to head.. with this if it were fully cranked up! But by the end of the session.. I was so floaty and lost in subspace and my body was squirming and having those deeper body orgasms, that they could have done just about anything to me,and I likely would have kept on begging for more. :o

In the end, I received very wonderful after care from my Daddy and Uncle.. they dressed me into my footie pjs, and my Uncle somehow managed to get my very shaky and quivering body into the social room and onto the couch, where I could just curl up on his chest as he held me and soothed me.

Daddy cleaned up as my Uncle delivered wonderful after care, and I felt amazing.
To everyone who was involved in the session..Daddy, Uncle Kambriel, and the lovely lady in the corset... thank you all for a very, very pleasurable first experience with the violet wand!

Minty Fresh.

So, one afternoon I was touching up my hair color (I always have new and fun colors going into my hair) - and discovered some new lessons learned.

1) Mouth wash takes hair dye off of your skin really, really well.
2) It does help, to have your Dom/me help get the back of the neck and so on, or places you cannot reach with said mouthwash.
3) BUT, beware, that if your Dom, suddenly decides to be frisky, and torture your already turned on self - and strips down your pants to fondle,play and tease you ..... BEG them to wash their hands first... for this is what happened..

Him - Does said stripping off my jeans and such and bends me over the sink to fondle/caress and tease my girl bits.
Me- Oo, mmm.. but, Dadddddy.... I am already going crazy...!
Him - Gives me that look, that I know means to be quiet and take said torture....
Me - Oo, dear.. it tingles.. ack.. and burns.. and ACK, your hands have mouth wash on them!!!!!
(Insert much laughter on his part... and much squirming on mine while attempting to get said mouthwash off of my girl bits......) x_x

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Little Inner War. *Possible Triggers within post*

Before I start writing new posts, I want to share a few posts I wrote over at Fetlife while I was on my, very long blogging hiatus. The first one I would like to share, goes out to all of those who have a little/middle side. I think, in the time since I wrote this post, I've come a long way with it. I will also share the comments I received on it,for they were pretty enlightening. 

I've been thinking about this topic since it happened again, in such a bad way the other night. Between the time of bike ride yesterday, and last night and today I have been trying to look inside of myself with a clear head -and answer the ongoing question of why I have this inner war inside of me of pushing away my little side.

It's a very conflicting feeling, knowing you not only want - but need something, that you continue to push away against and fight.
Is it to be defiant? Absolutely not. I am an imp in many ways, but defiant I usually am not.
With that being said - I will rewind a touch. That moment of being triggered, felt like a serious shut down inside of me. Like I was starting to disconnect myself from it again. Why I think this is happening, is the constant
stress and worry around me... about my Father and being still numb over my grandmothers death, being she was more like a mother to me than anything.. and of course dealing with the never ending family drama that everyone always
insists on trying to put me in the middle of. Even my mother, subconciously (I think) still does this to me.

Wait Moment of huge clarification just hit, in thinking about what I just wrote.. I almost deleted, and
started over, but I think it's important, so I am leaving that - and continuing with the revelation that was just revealed here.
I think while pondering all of this just now, I have had a huge eye opener on why this incident was such an extreme one on my end.... The sudden tears and refusing to put my binkie in my mouth.. then once in, only keeping
it there because I was told to do so. Then spitting out only moments after you fell asleep. I had this urge to throw all my stuffies across the room, and my binkie along with it.. but being all the stuffies that get a place on our bed have a special meaning and place to me, I didn't have the heart. So I lined them up neatly behind me, but for the first time in a very, very long time.. I did not sleep with any of them. I felt angry, and I couldn't stop crying. Which, I rarely cry up till this last Saturday night after the release session, and the new approach that was taken on that. The tight squeezes during, opened a flood gate.

The next morning, the feeling was no better. I pushed it away, like I normally try to do. But I had this very strong urge, to pack everything , and I mean everything, little related - and put them away in a box -if not throw them in the dumpster. I only did not, because I knew I would be in a world of trouble. And, matters were not helped, that via text, I kept defying when being told to get my binkie, and put it in my mouth.

I honestly, only did briefly, and it was quickly back out as I went about my day, with my guts turning and feeling very confused on my sudden, harsh reactions to all the little stuff. I felt, shut down inside with it. Disconnected, but angry and conflicted.
Now, after typing all of this, and my new eye opener.. I am realizing that it's not just the current very bad health state of my father that triggered me. Mothers day, triggered me. While it was a wonderful day, for special
reasons - once home, I got a voice-mail from my mom. It had guilt, in her passive way, all the way through the message. On, why have I not called yet, or texted, and her rambling passive way of doing things. I called her back, to explain I had not been home all day, but had a wonderful night before and day - and that I was planning on calling her in the evening once things were calmed down here for the night. I got her voice-mail, my guts turned, and I tried to put on that chipper tone and wish her a Happy Mothers day. She still has not called me back. So I know she has hurt feelings.

All my life, I have ran to take care of both my mother and father. At 7 even, searching to find my mothers whereabouts for many years when they were unknown. Taking care of my father always, in cooking, cleaning, ironing,
filling out bills, taking care of myself - the house.... him. Dealing with what is, and always be, two men in one.
One, a man with the sense of humor of someone like Chevy Chase, and the charm and wit of someone like Burt Reynolds back in the day. And the other, who had a violent, quick temper, and many issues.. and would lock himself away from us and the world for weeks or longer when things got very bad.

My Mother was here just recently also - so aside the voice-mail, we already have touched base some on the fact that her visiting us here was hard on me, being she took many trips down memory lane while we were out about in town. I was born here, and they lived here 'till things got so bad that she left. She showed me the houses we lived in, the first two... were just houses. Nothing special about them, so I let her go on her memory lane trip, and
listened. The last, as soon as I saw the house... I could see everything inside. The stairs, the furniture.. everything. Even the wallpaper. It was very surreal, looking at the outside of a house that you did not know you would remember, but you suddenly can see everything inside of it, or how it was.
She went on another trip down memory lane, this one being a bad one - and while I have heard bits of the details here and there of the event she was seeing in her own head, I suddenly could see it in my own. I was sitting on
the top of the stairs - looking through the iron bars of the stairwell. They were screaming - so loud it was almost a numbing kind of loud. I had a small blanket that I was chewing on, and watching them, unknown if they
even knew I was there, or cared. My Father had a gun to her head, and everything was so intense, the look in both of them - faces, eyes - I don't recall what was being yelled, just reactions, face expressions. I tried to snap
out of this quick, sudden visual I was having, as she continued to talk about she left and kept driving - she didn't mean to keep going but she did, and kept drinking along the way. She then went missing for the first time
in my life -(and most certainly, not the last) and was finally found way up in the mountains, where she almost was at the point of killing herself, and it was days later before she finally realized she needed to call someone. Meanwhile, no one knew where she was, alive, dead - etc. She was reliving that after horrors in her own head.
I have, since she has been here, been fighting those triggers and memories - along with all the very fresh, and present health issues with my Fathers heart.. and this voice-mail that day, seemed to be a trigger on top of others that just set me off here.
I think, on a very deep, and personal level, during my crying, anger, wtf moment there - is that the rejection was a regression. I was repeating what I know.. or knew.. regressing to a point to where it touched my subconscious... not rebelling, but regressing to what I knew at that age, and even younger when on the stairs, watching the screaming and gun.
I know I have made a lot of progress with things in my past - these actually being minor to a lot of other things that did happen.. but I think what I have touched on here, is the way I handled things at certain ages, and possibly regressing to them, rather the normal regression ways of running to a stuffed animal or binkie. I didn't have a lot of these things growing up, I had to grow up hard, fast and deal with a lot of things that most would never guess I'd been through in my life. While I want the things I missed, the stuffies and etc. I think I am fighting them, because they have never been something that was in my life for long. And one very key phrase that has stuck in my head today has been this...
If I allow myself to be a kid all will fall apart, that is what happened the first time so why should it be any different now? That is what my psyche is screaming at me. This is the key thing, that I need to work on... I think.


*note - I have edited names to just *friend* to protect the privacy of those on my friends list.

Thank you for sharing this. I want to hug you so bad right now

I have much to say....but I've told you my past.-.so I think you would get an idea of what I plan to say....I'm at work right now...but I will be back to comment.

@Friend Thank you, sweetheart... comments like that help a lot, and make me glad I shared it here. And I would happily take that hug the next time I get to see you! :)
@Friend I knew you would... smile. Big hugs. xo

That mom guilt on mother's day can be a real bitch. Perhaps it will help to know you're not the only one: http://youtu.be/i_5ML-OIk58

well wrote i know it must of been hard to write this and know your not alone hun.
The last few sentences chime with me on a big level with my regression I had to grow up fast and hard and thought if i didn't that everything at home would fall apart. So know you have a extra set of ears if you need them massive huggles xx

@friend lol, thank you for the link and laugh.
@friend The realization of the last was a huge thing today, I think. You cannot continue to work on something, if you do not know the reasons or cause. :) And thank you... very much! xoxo

Hugs,and no need to fight little feelings or things.I'm Just realizing some of what I've always felt and letting it out some.seems to calm me. Sorry for all u have been thru in ur childhood.count ur blessings,u have brattamer and ur the world to him and let him help u.hugs

@friend (smiles) Thank you sweetie - i have made peace with much of my past, still a few skeletons to work on, but i've come a long way for sure. This was more, an eye opener to why i keep fighting this, and what still seems to trigger me here. All a growing progress, for sure. I am glad to hear you are being able to explore this side of yourself, that is wonderful. :))
And yes, i am very thankful, i have many blessings, and much good in my life - which is what makes me want to work hard to resolve things as well.. i do have Tamer, and now also @sparks_cloud, and many many other blessings and wonderfully awesome things in my life. :) Hugs! <3

Holidays always can make u feel things.I usually figure it out past certain holidays.

I stick by what I said earlier, your parents could fuck up a wet dream!

Hugs you very tight :) I'm proud of you for writing this, Tabs :D I hope you can remember that you have your Daddy and, as long as he's with you, he'll keep you safe and make sure nothing falls apart.
and I hate it when parents play the guilt card, so doublehugs

I really think you're on the right track. Rejecting your little first happened WHEN you were little, and that hurt something inside you. As an adult you're trying to fill a need that was denied... If that need someday is fully satisfied you'll still enjoy being little because of the fun and comfort you have adult memories of... although it's quite possible the need to be little never IS completely satisfied.
But rejecting all things little is as self-destructive now as it was then. You aren't alone now though, and that's a very important difference.
@Friend Thank you hon. (hugs) <3
@Friend Doesn't surprise me one bit, we've had many things in common since day one, and always have seemed to think so much alike. I really, thank you, for sharing that here with me - and adding your thoughts and experience in there.. I very much appreciate it. And my inbox is always open to you as well. <3 (hugs tight going your way as well) I am sorry you also, have had a rough path in the past, but know you're an incredible person, and one person I think is to be admired.

That last paragraph, I think that is how I'm feeling too. :((
@Friend Thank you so much, Uncle.. I was hoping to hear your two cents on things. (smiles) And everything you said there, made very much sense.. as always. I have many wonderful people in my life, for that, I am so very happy and thankful for.. and you are very much one of those people.
@Friend (Hugs) :(

hugs I didn't say anything you didn't already know. ;)
Now here's something you aren't ready for... you need to start blaming your parents for what they did to you, and you need to hold them accountable. You can't heal until you stop blaming yourself in your heart for things you had no control of.
@Friend (Big hugs) Well, perhaps - but you always have a way of wording things that always take it that extra needed step in my head for me.
It stings to read that, but I know you're right.. them, and a few other people as well. Not sure how to even start with that one, but having it pointed out helps, so I can recognize it, and figure out just how to do that. :/

Don't stay quiet when they smack you on the nose with a guilt trip. You're not a child anymore.... FIGHT BACK! If it makes them uncomfortable, that's their problem... the truth hurts when you've fucked someone over, and it's time you stopped giving them a free ride for their bad behavior.
Start with 'it really hurt me when you did that to me.' The ONLY acceptable reply is 'I was wrong to do that to you and I'm sorry... is there anything I could do to make it up to you?' Don't accept any other answer. Counter their excuses with 'I was a child and needed your protection, not your problems. As an adult I have my own protection and I still don't need your problems.'

Honey, you know how i feel.
Stay frosty and remember that certain people love you unconditionally.
@Friend ... I had to read that twice, only because it so rings true. Daddy has been trying to help me do things like this over the years here - some, I have gotten better with, but only with certain people.. my Father? I don't know I ever will be able to do so. I have such torn feelings about that man - from all the good and bad that happened... I still end up looking at the point that he kept me, he tried. In my heart, I know that all the other things that happened from him, and the things he let happen, or even once found out happened, didn't get handled in a way they should... I know in my adult, logical mind here - that so so so much that happened was just wrong on so many levels. Geez, obvious Daddy issues, huh? Oh wait, we knew that. (snorts) lol
Ok ok, seriously - I know you are very right, as you usually are, Uncle.. and I know Daddy will very much agree with you. He's been trying to pull me out of that - (make everyone happy, even if my happiness is the cost) mode that I've been in since I was a child for years now. It's time I make this progress, for many many reasons here.
.. sigh. :/
@friend Thank you sweet pea. For more than your comment, and you know what all for.

Sweetheart, you can have all the people around you in the world to help comfort your little. Only one person in the world can DEFEND her. You're still letting her be hurt, and when she hurts more than you can bear you try to make her go away. She'll NEVER feel safe that way.
@Friend :( I know you're right.. and the thought stirs up yet more tears over it - god Im doing to much of this crying crap lately, so unlike me. :/ How do I do that with him though? I am so scared of having yet another death on my shoulders that I cannot move past because of things that didn't get done, or said - or the tragic ways of losing them - like my brothers death. They are only giving him some time at this point.. and his death is going to be next - and even sooner still if all this family drama crap doesn't get kept away from him and his blood pressure keeps sky rocketing. :(

By thinking of your responsibilities, in the order of how much control you have. You have most control of yourself, and your little is the part of yourself that needs your attention and protection.
Next is your children, from youngest to oldest. They need you to be as emotionally solid as you can be so they feel safe and sure of their environment until they have the ability and wisdom to control their own environment.
Next is Tamer, who shares responibility for your children and THEN you.
Now after those responsibilities are met, THEN you can see how much control you really have over the actions of your brothers, parents, whatever... and therefore how much responsibility for their lives or their deaths.
@Friend Again, very well said Uncle. You have given me so much food for thought and as always, the extra guidance I am needing.. thank you, always..

You're very welcome, niece. If there's one lesson you could learn from your parents it's this... when you have no control over yourself, then the ones who depend on you will suffer. So keeping ourselves emotionally healthy is our first and most important responsibility, and one that no one else can fully accept no matter how much they wish they could. (It's just impossible to MAKE people drama free.)
@Friend So, very very true. Thank you again for always being there for me - and offering your wisdom and guidance. I know what to work on, now, and I know what I need to change, and a lot of that change in the end, will be good for me, all the way around, and not just my little side. It all starts with realizations,hm? (big big hugs) xo

xo Yep it does. If you don't realize how you're setting yourself up for frustration, anger, guilt... then you'll always fall for the traps. HUUUUGS

HUGS. What you wrote hit home with me. Totally different situation but my childhood was taken away & I'm still trying to understand why I'm such a child now & why can't I grow up. Thank you for sharing
@Friend I'm glad my sharing can help others.. (smiles) And thank you for commenting to let me know that. My inbox is always open if you ever want to talk or anything. xo <3

Yes but the brat in me kept singing in my head while I was trying to type that last msg.... I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid they got a million toys at Toys R us that I can play with! lol.
I'm here for ya too if you need to talk/vent <3
@Friend lol! Nothing wrong with that, for sure!!! <3 And thank you, pretty. And hey, I know I haven't gotten to your last inbox message, I haven't forgotten, just have a lot going on in my head right now and a bit behind on doing other things. <3 xo

No worries, hun. Get yourself sorted out. You can only do so much in one day <3

Reading all of the comments here shows how much support you have, here and at home. And your Uncle seems to have a way of verbalizing every thought that I have on this subject.
You did a great job with this princess and it is a big step in the healing process that will lead to a happier life with less doubt and anxiety.
I love you My princess!
@Daddy Thank you, for coming back to this, and adding your thoughts. It means a lot to me. I am very thankful for the support I do have. @Friend has been a rock to me as an Uncle, and does have a very great way at getting things put into words for me as I need to see them. And you, have been my rock since i was 14 years old. i love You too, Daddy. <3

I wont go into it knee deep, instead I will just repeat, what them hippies said.
make love not war
and even if they were wrong on some accounts, on the personal level, especially when dealing with our inner selves
make love, not war
is the way to go
@Friend As my Miss always seems to say, all you need is love. lol. We're both Beatles fans, so that works for me! ;) Thank you for commenting, Mr. ***.. always so enjoy hearing from you! <3

I am sorry this took so long I have been dealing with so much! I move in with Daddy in 2 weeks, I am seeking for another job, and I have 2 new special people in my life…plus lots of other RL things. I have read this posting over and over trying to figure out how I was going to word it, well here it is.
Firstly I love ya girl, and I am right here with you on this internal little’s battle. I have been fighting my little side for almost 7 years. To this day, I still fight her a tad bit, but we are able to live in the same body and be okay. I am still very conflicted on how I can fight and push away something that is a part of me. Something I needed to live.
I find it ironic how much we really have in common. I to fight my little side because I grew up without being able to be a child. The whole coloring, binkies, and all that just wasn’t there. I grew up with a mother whom abused me and molested me. I was a no body, I did not have kid friends to play with, I did not get to play outside, or color. I sat inside and cleaned, cooked and watched the kids. As I grew up I started to hate myself and everything that “childhood” was supposed to represent.
Then I started to feel as though I was going crazy…having different personas that I could not explain, but I could feel they were there. That need to sit down and watch cartoons with a binky in and a stuffie in my arms. I refused to do it though. I thought as a adult it was stupid of me to do that which made me hate my little side. I wanted her gone, I wanted to be an adult without a little voice in my head yelling at me to sit and play with a toy. Every time some bought me something that would make my little side happy I would throw it away. I used to collect stuffed animals, I threw them all away.
Then my alcoholic father who was abusive to me and would scream in my face once he got a beer or two in him. He belittled me and made me feel small and fragile. I HATE that feeling, and I used to think my little side would be small and fragile therefore making me feel vulnerable. I could not have that. I completely blocked her out, I hated her. I hated how she made me feel and how she needed all those “little” things that I resented.
So let me tell you what happened because I disconnected myself from her. I had this unhealing empty spot in my heart. Like a piece of my soul was missing. I was depressed and I hated people. I hated everything. I was more alone then I had ever been. I couldn’t play with my siblings or be apart of anything “kid like” with them. I didn’t do toys, coloring, tv. I hated laughter, and I hated people whom were happy. I could not be happy. I started unhealthy habits and became so depressed I thought about killing myself, more than once.
I then found the lifestyle and saw they spoke about littles and all that…I almost refrained from getting in the lifestyle just because of that. But something in my head told me to go with it. So I did lots of research to understand what the lifestyle was about and how I would fit in. I went with a slave at first, because I grew up feeling like a slave…I cooked, cleaned, serviced anyone, anyway I could and even a smile was praise enough for me. Mind you all thru this I had no little. I had disconnected from her. She had left me. So I found my first Master when I was 19. I was with him 8 months (turned 20 with him). I thought it was the best thing in the world. I felt like I had found my place. I cooked, cleaned, showered him, pleased him in every and all ways that I could. Then it went downhill….he no longer showed that he cared, he longer did anything with me…I was a maid. I was taken for granted and more problems just occurred. I had put myself back into another bad spot. So I left him and came home. Then I found Daddy and this is where everything changed.
Daddy showed me that I was not living a good life, he built me up and talked me through all my problems. The happier I got the more I started to feel my little side returning for a second chance. Daddy bought me color books, and requested me to color some pictures for him. I looked at them and pushed them away. He pushed them back and said “Do it.” Me being the submissive I am and wanting to please I started coloring. My little came back slowly the more I colored. I started to feel better as I colored. Then at home with my siblings I was sitting in the room with cartoons on for my baby sister and I ended up peaking at it, feel in love and started watchin the show daily. The more I watched cartoons, and colored the more happiness I felt come back to me. I could feel my little returning, and it was making me feel whole again. Now 4 months later I would hurt you if you took my colors away. I would cry if I lost my stuffies. I sleep with a binky because it helps me sleep and stay calm. I finally have my little side back after 4 long months of having to re have a childhood shown to me. I realized it is okay to be a little, it is okay to want to sit and color and hold my stuffy by her arm and carry her around.
Now maybe you ask ok…where are you going with this. I say all this because I learned the hard way about disconnecting from her. I had to teach myself how to be a child again so that I can feel whole. I learned that I cannot live without my little side. She is apart of me, and you cannot get rid of who you are. You have to embrace her, and grow with her and teach her and learn from her. You have to understand that it is OKAY to be a little, it is okay to color and play and be goofy just because you can. Put a binky in your mouth and do not remove it, get used to it, embrace it. Color and play stuffed animal wrestling and all other sorts of things….but do not push those things away…they are what make you, you.
I am always here to help you , if you feeling like you might push her away…please come to me…I can help. I have been there. I hope this helped.

Friend - First - never apologize (smiles) Second - i love yas too!
Now to the deeper stuff, I know it wasn't easy for you, to write all this out here, where other people aside from you and I can read it. But, in doing so, please pat yourself on the back and know I am proud of you for being able to do it. I know how hard it was. This post was a huge break through for me. I myself cannot even believe how far i have come with things in just a matter of a few days, between these eye openers, the support from everyone, and the approach my Daddy and Miss has been taking with me since..I am finally getting where I have been fighting to get for a very long time.
I am not doubting, with my inner stubbornness that I will have moments still, where I will try to fight it, I've struggled some already the last few days with trying not to slip back into the fighting habit. When I do, I will remember your advice here,along with the support from everyone,and the key things to why I was fighting it so hard to begin with. It's also been agreed between my Daddy, Miss and me, that it's very effective when they are strict with me, when i start to fight using certain things like my stuffies or binkie and such. That is helping me, a lot.
As for the past - I could go on and on, about how much I relate to so much that you said there. Yes, it is a bit ironic how much we do have in common in some areas. I try to tell myself, though - that with all that I have seen, the abuse, Chris killing himself,the other deaths in my life - it has all made me who I am today, and I see things in a way that some do not. For that small thing, I am grateful for... for I see the little things that get taken advantage of on a daily basis, I stay grateful for the good things I do have, knowing it could be worse - and HAS been much worse in my life.
You're a wonderful gal, and have a lot of wisdom for your age sweetie, and Im very happy we have become such good friends, and will always be here for you also. Thank you for the open door of being there for me always, the same always goes to you as well.
Im proud of you for commenting on this, with such heart felt, and hard words.

@Brat... this is so stunning Lady.. so brave.. what a beautiful woman/child/little you are... and mother's? we all have them..and they love to mess with us.. but we..are stronger, braver, tougher..than they think.. and you are.. Gosh I love you DollFace...so much..
@Friend (gets all mushy and runs over and pounce huggles ******!!) <3 Thank you, lovely lady.. so much, for commenting.. being who you are.. and all the amazing things you do and say. I am so very happy and blessed to have met you! And so very true on the mother thing, lol! I love you too beautiful lady!!! <3<3<3

sending you lots and lots of hugs- your uncle has said it right, and i too need to do the same thing for once and for all...and yes, guilt trips SUCK ASS!i still to this day deal with that
@Friend Thank you sweetie - and yes, my Uncle is wise and always very helpful. (smiles) Hope all is well for you.

I feel like Mr. Owl in the tootsie pop commercial. :D
@Uncle (lol lol!) Or the wise owl in winnie the pooh!!

~all the hugs you can handle~
@friend hugs Thank you, boo. <3 I've made a lot of progress in this area - and really should do an update on this.

*Photo from Deviant Art by FatBottomedGirl*